As parents, we always feel that our kids should be brought up in an ideal way. So we leave no stone unturned to ensure that they read the right books, eat the right food and play with enriching toys. But seldom do we put into thought the effect that some of our words have on their tender minds. We may not realise it, but certain phrases used by us in an attempt to be the ‘best’ parent could actually discourage or upset our little ones. Find out which are those words that could end up putting a wet blanket on your child’s lively spirit. So that the next time you are tempted to use them, you know that you should exercise caution.
You are useless
We may call our child bad or worthless in a fit of anger, but this greatly hurts his little ego. Yes, kids have an ego too. And when his/her favourite person (that’s you) calls him good for nothing for something he failed at doing, it can greatly sadden him. What to say instead: Try saying I did not like what you did, but let’s try to do it better next time.
Wait till your daddy comes home
Don’t paint a picture to your child that daddy or a particular member of the family is responsible for setting him right. Parenting is teamwork, so deal with the problem then and there itself. What to say instead: Mummy is upset with your wrong behaviour (and hand out the appropriate lesson/punishment)
You will never learn
Woah. Imagine what that sentence could do if said to you. Children have their own mood swings and may display disinterest in studies or certain activities at times. But that behaviour doesn’t warrant this reaction. What to say instead: I know you can learn this, you are capable, why don’t we try in five minutes?
You are taking too much time, I’ll do it
When you say this, you are depriving the child of a chance to try things out by himself. Yes, we do not have all the time in the world, so allow him to use his brain cells. Then if you feel you must step in, do it gently. What to say instead: Try saying, I’m amazed that you are trying, why don’t we try when we have more time instead?
Why don’t you be more like your brother/sister?
Comparing your child to his sibling is almost like saying, you are not good enough.Treat the child’s problems as his own as an individual. What to say instead: It would be really nice if you did this.
Crying is bad, only cowards cry
Many of us have been brought up by this belief. If your little one is genuinely upset, crying is a natural emotion of frustration. Don’t discourage the tears, or label them bad. On the other hand, teach him how to deal with them instead. What to say instead: I understand you are upset, but your precious tears are running away. Take a deep breath and lets see how we can solve the problem.
You have no right to talk when adults are speaking
Excited kids often have a habit to butt into elders’ conversations and this can irritate even the most patient parent. But instead of demeaning the child, we can distract him or if possible, hear him out. What to say instead: Hey I would love to hear what you have to say but right now my attention is elsewhere. Why don’t you play for five minutes till we finish this conversation and then I can fully hear you out?.
Source: The Indus Parent